Last week I posted my thoughts about being lonely at different points in my life. You can read more here.
I firmly believe there is a season for everything and that God can use loneliness for a purpose. However, I really struggled about whether or not I should post a blog about loneliness. While I do believe it is ok to walk through a season of loneliness, I also believe loneliness can be a perfect time for the enemy to sneak in and rip us apart. When we are lonely, it is easy to believe we are an island in the middle of the ocean. No one cares. No one can relate. No one has walked the road we are walking. No one could ever understand.
Early in our journey with delayed fertility, I spent a lot of time believing lies. I believed I was alone and that no one cared. I was too embarrassed to share our story. I mean having a baby should be easy right? One day, I was online and I stumbled across a blog written by someone who was dealing with delayed fertility. Her story was different than mine, but I could relate to the emotion behind the story. I remember crying as I read her words, realizing that maybe my island wasn’t so secluded. The wall of lies I had allowed to build around my heart started to crack.
After reading that first blog, I started searching out women who were writing about their journey. Not only are there several women who are walking in delayed fertility… they are doing it well. They aren’t living in sorrow, shame and hopelessness. They are shouting out God’s goodness and finding beauty in the dark.
Seeing so many women not just survive their wait but thrive in it, encouraged me to do the same. I want to walk this road well. Waiting doesn’t have to be dreary. John 10:10 says “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” When we wallow in our loneliness, we give room for the enemy to kill our joy, steal our happiness and destroy our peace. BUT Jesus came to give us life. Even when I am in the middle of a long wait or a time that feels lonely, I can still have an abundant full life.
After we celebrated what should have been the due date of our first baby, I slowly started to open up about our journey and share with others what we were walking. Telling our story isn’t always easy, but most people respond with love and support.
Community is important. Matthew 18:19-20 says, when two or more people pray in agreement for something, it will be done. When two or more people gather in Jesus name… He is there. Jesus always answers our prayers, but there is a reason the bible specifically says that when two or more agree He hears. Of course, Jesus is with us always, but there is a reason the bible specifically tells us that when two or more are together, He is there. I think these verses are in the bible to remind us we need a tribe. We aren’t mean to live this life alone.
In my search for finding people who had similar stories to mine, I found a blog called “In Due Time”, written by a woman I am now blessed to call friend. Caroline Harries story is all about how God qualifies those He calls. She is not only a blogger, but an author and the founder of a nonprofit faith based infertility group called Moms in the Making. Moms in the Making started in her home and has now grown to over 1,900+ (growing daily) members online. She is a daily reminder that joy and abundance can be found in a wait. You can read Caroline’s blog here.
I joined Moms in the Making on Facebook in February 2016. I was hesitant to share my story at first in the group. The truth is, even though I had shared pieces of my story with friends and family, sharing with a larger group didn’t feel safe. Another tool of the enemy. If forming community helps give us abundant life, of course the enemy would lead us to believe that being lonely is safe. Since making the decision to be brave and share my story, I have learned that I am not an island. There is a large community of women who are facing the same struggle I am. No, our stories aren’t the same, but our hearts understand each other. I now have women who deeply understand to connect with daily. These women pray with me, encourage me, and hold my heart.
If you are a woman who is struggling with delayed fertility, I encourage you to join Moms in the Making. You can join on facebook here. The group is private, so no one will know that you have joined. It’s a safe place to not only share your heart, but to learn how to thrive in your wait to be a Mama.
This fall, Moms in the Making is hosting the first annual Moms in the Making Conference. This conference is for women who are struggling with delayed fertility to come connect with women who understand and be encouraged. I will be in attendance, and I would love to see you there! Learn more about the conference and buy your ticket here.
Maybe you aren’t struggling with delayed fertility… but you are dealing with something else. I encourage you to be brave and share your story. We weren’t meant to be islands.
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